Feelings

Feeling.

Something beneath us that is too abstract to be measured.  It’s so abstract, we can hardly imagine, describe and reveal it. But alas, feelings are real. Everybody had a feeling about something or someone once in a while, even though some people chose to ignore their feelings. But one thing we can know for sure from feelings, they’re like actors without script and director. They can improvise as they like without being held back by any script or director. This is also the reason why in anybody’s feelings there could be a “plot twist”. Because we may never predict when, where and with whom the story of our feelings will end.

That’s also why feelings are always related to the word ‘natural’. We can’t fabricate feelings. We can’t fake it, but we can hide it. Even though a lot of people hide their feelings, they will eventually be revealed. Because feelings are always affecting every single thing you do, until it becomes obvious. Hiding feelings are an easy thing to do, but a painful thing for our soul. The longer we hide our feelings, the more they are likely to torture our soul. Hiding a feeling will also automatically kill the feeling itself, because feelings are meant to be conveyed to other feelings, not hidden.

Feelings are dynamic. It keeps growing from time to time, fed by our own instinct. Some feelings are growing bigger and closer to other feelings. Some of them are also growing smaller and further from other feelings. The growth of our feelings is depending on how we feed them. If we are feeding them with fear and insecurities, they will grow smaller and die. But if we feed them with honesty and trust, then it will grow bigger and better. Feelings are also depending on our understanding towards them. The more we understand our feelings, the better their chance to be understood by other feelings too.

Feelings may grow like living creatures, but we can’t control them all the time like a pet. The only thing we can do about it is to tame it, by understanding it. Lots of people may try to understand our feelings, but we are the only one who is really capable of doing it. Because when people try to understand our feelings, they are also using their feelings. In other words, their judgment may be all mixed up with their feelings and wrong sometimes. So, we must realize that we are the masters of our own feelings, if we understand them. We can decide whether we are going to grow it bigger, or grow it smaller.

Last but not least, feelings are irrational. You don’t use logic when you have feelings for something or someone. For instance, we often see people in love as crazy and stupid people, because we value their feelings with our logic. That’s not the way feelings work. Sometimes when we have feelings for somebody, we just rarely think logically like “Is it going to be good for me?” or “How much loss will I have from doing this?”

Heck, sometimes we don’t even think at all. But that’s the beauty of feelings.

It’s immeasurable, which means it can grow as big, as far, and as long as we want it to be.

Unlike logic. Logic is pure transactional and fair. With logic we tend to limit ourselves from doing the things we think are irrational and impossible. With logic we only give people the same amount as they gave us. With logic we only think that whatever we do for people should only be as much as what other people do for us.

But because we are being irrational with feelings, things will be so much different, imbalanced, even unfair.

When we have feelings for somebody, we want to give them as much as we can, even though they didn't give us anything at all. When we have feelings for somebody, we also let ourselves sacrifice and do countless things just to make sure that particular person is happy. It doesn't matter whether they have feelings for us too. With feelings, we don’t expect people to give anything in return. But when they do, we will be the happiest person on earth. Then in the end, people that struggled with their feelings will realize that their feelings, are always worth it.